Revenge of the ghost in the well (FUN VERSE: FINAL of 3 in the SERIES; it just got scarier)
Jun 25 2008 | Views 212 |
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Tags: ghost in the well Hokusai Katsushika sarayashiki fun verse ghost story
Tags: ghost in the well Hokusai Katsushika sarayashiki fun verse ghost story
Revenge of the ghost in the well (fun verse: 3 of 3; it just got scarier)
text: © Raj Arumugam, June 2008; art by Hokusai, Katsushika
….hooo…haaa…heee…ha…
sllloooooshhhh….soooollllsssssshhhhhh….drip..drip..drip..
ah, you are back again and now you want to know
what happened to me after I died
as a result of having my brains pop out of my head
as a result of my hitting rock bottom
and consequently becoming brainless
and so becoming a ghost for eternity
or for as long as there are wells in homes…
Well, welllll, welllllll…I’ll tell you –
but don’t mind the silly guttural noises I make in between:
I wouldn’t be a ghost if I didn’t, would I?
yeeeeeeeeeeeee…yiiii…hiiiiiiiii…eeeeeeee…
Ha, ha – that scared those stupid donkeys of drunks in the streets…
yeeeeeeeeeeeee…yiiii…hiiiiiiiii…eeeeeeee…
woooohoooooo…eeeeee….
and now I’ll tell you the story
of how I had my revenge
on my husband and his new wife
….hooo…haaa…heee…ha…
sllloooooshhhh….soooollllsssssshhhhhh….drip..drip..drip..
within a week after my hitting
the bottom of the well –
Ouch! It still hurts when I talk about it –
my husband took a new wife!
Ah, I watched her as she came to the well
swaying her hips and with the smell of deodorant
and heavy perfumes drifting in the air
looking like a proper tart if ever there was one:
and she’d look at herself in the water
and pucker her lips and flit her eyebrows
as she admired her beauty,
this sixteen-year-old who looked
like the tail end of a pig;
and she came there every morning
and - Oh, how my heart burned
(I don’t have a brain, remember?)
to consider that she was not only in my home
(come on, there were no divorce papers
so the home and the thousand wells still belonged to me!)
and to see her make a mirror of the water in my well
which was now my home in my exile….
but I waited patiently....
….hooo…haaa…heee…ha…
sllloooooshhhh….soooollllsssssshhhhhh….drip..drip..drip..
and then one night when the full moon
was covered by red clouds
she came out with a pail to draw some water
and I entered the water…heeeeheee.heee…
that was a cunning plan
as according to our sacred traditions
I could not enter the house
except if the new wife brought me in…
and bring me in into the house
with me in that pail she did
with me in that pail she did
and once in the house, even as she placed the pail on the floor
I released my devilish woman’s fury:
I entered my husband’s brain which was as small as a pea
and made him utter words to his new wife,
words that were the truest he’d ever spoken:
Oh my previous wife
was the prettiest woman
who ever lived
was the prettiest woman
who ever lived
the sweetest ever –
and you, my wife now
you’re the ugliest foul bitch
who ever went near a well!
….hooo…haaa…heee…ha…
sllloooooshhhh….soooollllsssssshhhhhh….drip..drip..drip..
and his new wife pounced on him
and I entered her head and seized her cotton brain
and made her scream and froth
and gave her savage strength
that frightened that dumb husband of mine;
and she pursued my husband, her husband
with a knife and that coward
mad with fear went running to the well
and the bitch ran after him
and I leaped into my husband’s peanut brain
and made him jump into the well
where his brains were crushed and came out like baby poo;
I pinned him down with the toe-nail of my left foot
(I still him have there, pinned down well under the toe-nail of my left foot)
and that bitch was screaming and in her delirium she jumped into the well
but I threw her out immediately as one throws out disagreeable food:
I mean, come on –
two is company, three is a crowd
and there’s not much room for a second woman in a well! –
and there she fell
on the ground
and that morning when the servants found her,
she was whispering into their ears:
The rabbit is green
and the moon is black…
The sun is watery
and I’m gone looney…
And since then till her death
she lived walking from well to well
until she found one
which was unoccupied – or perhaps evacuated –
does it matter? –
and she threw herself in
and hit rock bottom or struck gold –
does it matter? –
that bitch died that instant
and her cotton brain flew round the town for days;
and I still live here
with my husband still pressed down under my toe-nail…
and you, you who’ve heard this tale of the revenge
of the ghost in the well
you must repeat this tale all your life
or it will not at all go down well
it will not go down well
it will not go down well
with me, the ghost in the well…
….hooo…haaa…heee…ha…
sllloooooshhhh….soooollllsssssshhhhhh….drip..drip..drip..
Revenge of the ghost in the well (fun verse: 3 of 3; it just got scarier)
text: © Raj Arumugam, June 2008; art by Hokusai, Katsushika
© Raj Arumugam., all rights reserved.
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